I woke up with the greatest peace this morning. I’m not sure why, except that perhaps I’d slept well and I knew we had an entire day to do with as we pleased. I had convinced Cynical to do a little shopping and he complied, reluctantly, but he complied.

You see, the trouble with my job and I suspect employment in general, is the need to dress in keeping with what I do. And I must confess that I’d been a little lax, well perhaps a lot lax, in keeping my wardrobe updated. While I am confessing, it seems that I had gotten pretty casual in my daily attire. . . needless to say it was time to step it up. Most days I resemble a sloppy librarian, and needed to move more toward funky librarian.

After much ado, multiple dressing room visits and a little gritting of my teeth, I came home with a new pair of gorgeous shoes and a shirt. That’s it. Not exactly a new wardrobe. Not even a small update. I came up empty. Ugh.

I think the issue is a complicated one. First, the fit. As you can imagine, walking into a dressing room conjures up all sorts of body issue stress. Big thighs, short legs, thick torso. . . and the list goes on. And it’s all on display there in those floor length mirrors. Warts, body fat and all. . . there for you to see in full detail.

Secondly, there is the whole concept of age appropriate. I don’t want to dress like I’m in my 20s, but I don’t want to dress like my mother either. Surely there are clothes between something that highlights my new belly button ring and comes with a matching bonnet.

Lastly. . . who am I? How do I make my outside reflect what’s going on in my head? I fully realize that is a scary thought. I need to define my personal style. And, that, you see, is the problem. Am I a hippie? Am I Indie? Am I classic? Am I professional? Can I mix all of these into something that doesn’t leave me looking like a clown or someone that dressed in the dark? I also don’t want to look like everyone else. As one of my campers once said, “I don’t have to be fabulous, I just have to be me.” And. . . most importantly. . . will I be comfortable in my own skin, or the things covering said skin. As one of my campers once said, “I don’t have to be fabulous, I just have to be me.”

Back to square one, yet again.

However, I do have a fabulous new pair of shoes to inspire me. Calvin Klein. Kitten heel. Pointy toe. Comfortable. Anyone up for a day of shopping?


3 responses to “New

  1. You are off to a great start! Nice shoes!

  2. Love the shoes!! I so know how you feel. I’ve been considering my wardrobe with the possible job interviews that lurk in my future. I have many of the same questions about who I am and what my clothes reflect.

  3. You could always check out a few consignment shops. We have one called Clothes Mentor up here in MN. It seems to fit right in the middle of the Teen’s (Plato’s Closet) and the old lady consignment shops.

    My style never really seemed to fit in my last job either. But then again I never had the pressure to dress a certain way, as long as I was within guidelines.

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