OK

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Lately I seem to be reminding myself that it’s ok to do this, ok to feel this way or ok to say this or that.

It is ok, isn’t it?

Recently I announced to a close friend that I simply don’t like someone. I literally  marched up to her and said, “I don’t like (this guy).” Suddenly I felt a little lighter. It was ok that I didn’t like him. I don’t necessarily have to explain it. I don’t have to offer up a debate. I don’t like him. I have plenty of reasons, but the bottom line is that he’s not a member of my tribe. That’s that.

Since that time I’ve tried to back out of it, primarily for fear of how I will seem to others, being all crass and not liking this really unlikeable person. I even broke that quiet rule and offered up a few excuses.

And why do I do that? Offer excuses for my feelings, my likes, my desires and my actions. It’s one thing if my actions hurt you, cause you harm or distress, but when they don’t, it’s ok. It’s ok not to like this guy. It’s ok.

I spend a lot of time apologizing for who I am. I suspect I am not alone in this. How often do you say, “I’m sorry” or “Just sayin'”? Or offer up an excuse when there really isn’t a need for one.

I would love to try to stop this madness. Perhaps it’s one little step. I don’t like him and you can’t make me.

 

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